Instructions to Ron Weasley

[alt_hermione]

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Ron, you're going to know exactly what they were up to in a few hours or the morning maybe, and I want you to know that you had better keep your mouth shut, no matter what Harry says to you, no matter what happens, or else I'll be in the soup too, do you hear?! 

I mean I really really will, I really will. So SHUT IT. Or else. I know you hate him but honestly, please.

Comments

[alt_ron]

You can quit having me on, too.

It's not funny.

[alt_hermione]

I am not having you on!! How am I having you on?!

[alt_neville]

Criminy.

Hermione, you're safe for the moment, yeah?

[alt_hermione]

I'm fine, Neville! And I think - well, we'll see tomorrow, but I hope it'll be all right.

[alt_ron]

'Oh, we'll be in such trouble!'

'No, we're not in danger, what are you talking about?'

You're jerking me about, and that's not on.

[alt_neville]

Honestly, Ron, I think Hermione's got bigger problems right now than whether your feelings are hurt.

[alt_gredforge]

You need anything right now, Hermione? Some distraction mayhem, perhaps? We're awfully good at that sort of thing.

[alt_ron]

She's 'fine, Neville'.

Give it a rest, will you?

[alt_neville]

Ron, not now.

Look, Hermione, Ron'll keep his mouth shut, I promise. And if he can't I'll make it out like he's joking.

And if he really can't I'll--I'll hex him for you.

[alt_gredforge]

Oh, we'll help.

[alt_ron]

Oh shut it. Or you can well look out tomorrow! You didn't think I'd forget, did you?

[alt_gredforge]

Hardly. It should be declared a national holiday.

[alt_ron]

Yeah, it should. When you take over the world.

And would you hurry up and do that, please? We could all use a rest from things the way they are, yeah?

[alt_ron]

And what are you on about? When have I ever snitched on anyone? (Except Percy, but that doesn't count. And Ginny, maybe, but that was completely the twins, that was.)

[alt_neville]

That's not what I mean at all, Ron. You're not a snitch, everybody knows that.

It's just that when you get hacked off you sometimes blurt out stuff you shouldn't, without meaning to.

[alt_ron]

When've I ever got anyone in trouble, Neville?

[alt_neville]

Well, to be fair . . . yourself, mostly.

[alt_ron]

You know, Nev, for a bloke who doesn't like people to get cross with him, you're really bollocksing it up tonight.

[alt_neville]

Well, that's better than being a snitch, right? I already said you weren't.