Hermione Jane Granger

Mr Marvolo told me that he thought it was a shame I had stopped writing down a vocabulary word every day. His tutor told him that the only way he would learn more words was by looking them up. So I am going to look up words, and use them, and he says that will help him learn. He also says that he is too busy to do it himself - I am not at all sure that that is what his tutor meant, but of course I'll do as he asks.

So, the word for today is "trepidation," which means "a feeling of fear about something which may happen." I didn't know that. I had thought it just meant generally being excited for something. That would cover how I feel about going to Hogwarts. I am excited! Getting to see Terry every day and things. But it's still a long way off yet.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

Well yesterday was Terry Boot's birthday  and I wanted to tell you all, only I didn't remember until quite late, and then I had to run to go and see him. It's really easy to forget when people aren't around. Only, how could I ever forget Terry? I don't know. But I almost did. But I talked Harry into giving me one of the hampers that people sent him, his Father sent it along to school because it's full of vegetables under a freeze charm, and growing boys are supposed to eat their veg. And he doesn't like veg very much, so he gave it to me. So I'm keeping it for Terry.

Terry looks like he's under a freeze charm kind of. If you haven't gone to see him, I mean, he looks waxy or maybe icy.

Anyhow I also talked to Dennis, and Dennis said that he was with Malfoy the other day and scones showed up out of no where, and he wanted me to tell him how to make them stop showing up. And so I told him I didn't know, but it sounds like his magic is showing up, like it does for pure blooded kids, only I didn't know it happened to mudbloods, it never really happened to me. I mean, it did, but not like scones showing up out of no where. I made the ground feel soft once when we had to sleep on it, is all.

But I don't think there's anything you can do to stop that, is there? And why would he want to stop it anyway? I know Malfoy doesn't feed him like Harry feeds me, and anyway he wouldn't accept food from Malfoy and I think that's really why, and he really likes scones, and he could just eat them.

I Solemnly Swear that I am Up To No Good

I'm all right Terry!! I really am! It looked awfully hairy there for awhile, but I am all right, and Professor McGonagall's in charge of me, and she's being quite nice, although I suppose she isn't supposed to be so you'd better not tell anybody, she's giving me enough food and a place to sleep and everything even if it is in the dungeons. You see she put me in a cell, only she Transfigured the things in it so they were nicer, and she told me the Transfiguration would wear off by morning, but I'd be asleep by then and I would'n't notice the bed going hard - which is alright - and then if someone came to see me who wasn't her, they wouldn't know I hadn't had such an awful night of it after all.

But oh I think I may have gotten myself in real trouble this time. Only what else was I supposed to do? Macnair was threatening Harry - I couldn't just let him go - and I didn't know Professor McGonagall would be able to get out in time - so you see I stunned him! And now they do know that I can stun people! And that I can use a wand! I don't believe they know how I learned or even care, Professor McGonagall said she'd take care of it didn't ask, but -

Oh, I am just so glad to be alive, for a moment or two I wasn't sure I would be. And then I thought that Draco was going to die, only he was just knocked out, and then I thought Harry was really going to die, and I still think Macnair might've killed him, after all he had gone that far...

Well today was Terry's birthday and would you believe that Fred and George Weasley got him a birthday present! Or, anyway, Mrs Weasley sent things and they gave them to him and they're saying to people that it was to get well soon but they know and I know that it was a birthday present.

And Madam Pince was cleaning out the old books that no one uses anymore, like the old edition of Ancient Runes Made Easy and a copy of Great Wizards of the Twentieth Century with half the pages torn out (but it's still useful because it's alphabetical and so we still have all of names M through Z) and she gave them to me and so I gave them to Terry, because he can't come read anything he likes in the library, and there were about fifteen of them and when I saw the Headmistress she gave me a bow to put on them (thank you Headmistress) and Madam Pince let me make a birthday card with the inks I was using on the Pretiosissimum Donum Dei, even though of course I couldn't tell her that I was giving him the books too.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Terry wasn't so afraid of Mr Lupin, but I think that perhaps if he would only just get to know Mr Lupin he wouldn't be so scared, because he'd never bite anyone, not even if the Lord Protector told him to himself! And I know that not everybody in the Order thinks so and I'm sorry because you all probably know him better than me, but you haven't talked to him in years and years, and I'm sure I'm right!!

But in any case Terry is out of the Hospital Wing and I think he had a good birthday.

Now that the students are back I don't get as much time to work on my project. But it will be done soon. It's taken so much longer than I ever imagined!

And all the fir branches are down and the decorations too, and it's a new year. I wrote '1992' for the first time two days ago and that was very strange.

Terry hasn't been around and I am always nervous when Terry isn't around, although I know I oughtn't be. I'm glad Dennis is back. He's a little strange but at least he's someone that I'm allowed to speak to properly. I can't speak to my betters properly and the house elves don't really listen, I mean they do, but they don't care about any of the same things I care about at all and it isn't any use to talk to them because of that.

Terry is in the hospital wing.

He told me that Professor Carrow dunked him in a bucket of water, only I said that doesn't sound so bad, at least he didn't hit you or jinx you like he did that one time and so even if it was scary at least it's over now and it doesn't hurt any more. But it is actually worse because now he has something called asspiration pneumonia (Madam Pomfrey made sure that I knew how to spell 'pneumonia,' it isn't at all like you'd expect) and he has to stay in the hospital wing, only that doesn't sound so bad because now Professor Carrow can't dunk him in the bucket of water again, only Terry is very frightened and I'm not sure what of.

He won't ask to come stay with me in the library either, although I think that if Professor Carrow hates him so much he'd want him out of his sight, and he won't tell me why and I sometimes think he doesn't like me after all. But I know that isn't true. Anyway he has too much of a fever now to make alot of sense. Madam Pomfrey says he will be alright though because mediwizardry is so much better than Muggle healing ever was. If Terry were a Muggle before the Lord Protector came they would have fed him moldy bread, which sounds disgusting, only they must have had a reason to feed people moldy bread. Madam Pomfrey said it worked sometimes but all the Muggle Studies textbooks I can read don't say that, they just talk about how mean it was to feed sick people mold. But they caught the pneumonia early so maybe that is alright.

I wish I could apologise to Terry because I yelled at him, and I know it was wrong but he didn't tell me about Professor Carrow dunking him and I went in to work in the hospital wing and he was there all wet with Madam Pomfrey and I couldn't help it because I wanted to know what happened! But he just kept shivering and crying and all.

I don't think I ever have thought that I was going to drown. I suppose it is very frightening. Terry was very frightened.

And now I am going to bring him some books so that he can read them while he is in the hospital wing and no one can see that he's doing it.

I haven't had much time to work on the Pretiosissimum Donum Dei because I have been spending so much time in the library fixing books instead of being a scriptor. I just dyed the cover black which is all right because I think it will look good with gold embossing, before it was just plain because I had run out of time to do anything interesting on it. But now I need to do the illstrations again and I have been thinking about how I should do them. Last time I did them I just copied them out in a strong light box and they looked traced. But now Professor McGonagall told me that there isn't any hurry because the Lord Protector knows what happened.

So I have been thinking that perhaps I ought to draw the illustrations out myself so that they are really unique. Unique was a word of the day a long time ago, when I was less good at things. I think it will take me a long time to do, because I have only ever doodled a little bit. But it won't take as long as it might because last time I wrote out the Donum Dei I had to use all the paints and gold leaf and so on so I know how to use them at least a little.

Also now I won't have to get Madam Pince to charm the light box.

But I will have to be very careful that they are basically the same because they might mean something important. Also, Madam Pince said that she didn't think I should spend a lot of time copying them out because they have men and women "coupling" on them. But it isn't anything I hadn't seen before. Mum used to try and make me not see it in the camps but there are only so many places you can look. It's kind of gross but I suppose it is important for alchemy. So Professor McGonagall sat me down and asked me whether I had any questions and whether I understood that this was grown up things, and I don't think I would be a good alchemist anyway, so that was all right and I'm still allowed to copy them out.

Madam Pince also said that I could look at other pictures and copy off of them for the positions of people and things. So that is what I am going to do.

Terry, now that you have boots could you come out walking with me? Will Professor Carrow let you, today before it gets dark? While Professor Carrow is at lunch and he doesn't need you maybe? I know that you haven't been but you should see how pretty it can be in winter, even when there isn't snow, there's ice on the lake and I know you haven't seen that before because your toes would freeze off.

Madam Pince is at breakfast late, so I've time to write - finally - hooray!!

Things have been going well for Terry and me when we're learning about magic. Only Madam Pomfrey can't do everything I want to learn. We keep trying to do potions and she says "No, I don't have the materials." Because she can't ask for any materials that aren't used in healing on their own, since Professor Slughorn or the kids in classes mostly make her potions for her. She says she's going to try to come up with excuses but I know that even though she's on staff she could get in trouble for that, so I suppose she oughtn't and I told her so.

Terry is smarter than I thought he was and he's learning really fast, faster than I ever learned things. He isn't afraid of things either. Yesterday he cut his hand and Madam Pomfrey didn't notice for fifteen minutes because he didn't say anything, but the blood got into our potion and turned it blue! I still don't think he'd tell her if he got hurt, but at least now he knows that he has to bind things like that up so that it doesn't ruin potions.

I don't know how I feel about the Lord Protector coming. I suppose I won't see him at all. I'll just stay away. I hope I don't run into any Dementors, they sound very nasty. 

Terry is all right. He had a bad cut on his face that had bled a lot and really scared him, and broken ribs, and a badly broken arm. I could see the bone poking out. And he had some bleeding inside, but Madam Pomfrey thinks that she found all the places where it was really a problem.

But before Terry would go to the hospital wing he insisted I unwrap a rag in the corner of his cupboard. He'd made me a little wooden whistle, and a wooden tag with runes burned on it for me to put on Cat's collar. We decided on a name for Cat with Mr Lupin's help, only I think I shouldn't tell anyone what it is until Terry can say. But Terry made it and it says Cat's name in runes and I cried when he told me that it was for my birthday, even though I was already crying because I never saw anyone heal a bone that was sticking out of an arm like that.

On the way over Neville said 'I don't care what your friend did, nobody deserves being hurt like this,' which I think is the nicest thing a wizard my age has ever said to me. He's much stronger than he looks, too. We carried Terry pretty well, even though Neville couldn't get Wingardium Leviosa to work all the way. Terry just got a little lighter.

Anyway Madam Pomfrey said I did well to bring Terry in, and she was angry with Professor Carrow too, but she said that I had better not write about it for everyone to see. So I'm not.

Mr Lupin gave me a present today, too, which was a letter from my parents. Terry had sent him a note earlier this week to tell him that it was my birthday yesterday, even though he wasn't talking to me, which might make me cry again because well anyway. Being a werewolf Mr Lupin's allowed to do more than most wizards who aren't really important, so he found them for me and had them write me. Their letters just weren't making it through to me. I suppose that they aren't allowed to use owls, so they had to give their letters to guards, and the guards at the camps they've been at weren't very nice. They were very happy to hear that I'm being taken care of and not fed too poorly because there has been an outbreak of scurvy in the Stow-on-the-Wold camp. I'm to write to them and he'll carry the letter back when he can. I know that I ought not to trust him too far, and I won't say anything, but it's nice to know that someone is looking out for them even a little.

Terry's not going to be awake until morning and Madam Pomfrey said she'd come in before dawn so I can visit him before I have to go serve breakfast at the head table. So I ought to go to sleep now.