Hermione Jane Granger

This afternoon I had probably my longest conversation with Sarah Fawcett. Apparently, Mr Malfoy asked to see Draco (I think they're going to take him to Saltash soon, if they haven't already). And while he was there, Sarah came in to visit as well. Well, you know that look Mr Malfoy can get when he doesn't want to be disturbed? Apparently he can still do that, the Dementors didn't scare that out of him. But it did scare Sarah, so she scarpered.

Here's the thing, though, she doesn't want Draco to know it, but she's actually really quite worried that Mr Malfoy will somehow re-condition Draco so he'll be bigoted again. And I tried to tell her that really there's no way Draco will go back--I mean, once he started to see what was wrong with his parents' ideals, he changed his own opinions, and that's not going to just go away because he can talk to his father now. I mean, if anything, I think it'll help, because he can talk to him honestly about things, without being worried that his father will disown him or curse him or do something equally horrid. And just maybe, Draco can reach his father even if no one else can.

Oh, and I think the fact that he wanted to see Draco at all, and especially that she said he was 'clutching' Draco's hand when she walked in, is a really, really good sign. Don't you? Because if he knew Draco had betrayed him but he could still care about whether Draco lives or is going to be okay, then it means he's more likely to listen. Not to like what he hears, surely, but at least to give Draco a chance to explain.

Though it's rather a lot to put on Draco. And it got me to thinking: Do you think anyone else in the Order is worried that he'll recant?

I mean, they've worried about similar things before. I just don't want to see anyone go after him or accuse him of potentially double-crossing the Order because it's simply not going to happen. The double-crossing, that is, not people thinking he might.

Draco let me read what you wrote.

It helped. More than anything else has done, so far, I think.

He'd been listening to records from Sirius's old room and we were starting to be able to look at one another, before he got the note from his mother. And then he locked himself in his room all day. I was going to sit outside and try to get to him, but Mr Snape decided to put a chair in the corridor. Finally I got Kreacher to make roast beef and mash--his favourite, you know--and then he let me in. I put on one of the records (It was called 'Queen' and mostly I chose it because the first song was called 'Keep yourself alive') and we were sitting there listening and not talking. Which is really all we did last night, too, only this time I had a book to read so he wouldn't feel awkward.

And then you wrote to him. And he...well, it helped. And he showed it to me and then.... Remember when we talked? And you said you'd been afraid to let yourself feel because you feared you'd never be able to stop?

Well, he let himself feel. So did I. And it sort of flooded over for a little while. But then we both noticed the record had stopped.

And then he ate loads of pie. And vommed it (which was almost funny but I didn't dare laugh. Mostly I was just happy he tried eating anything).

So.

Thank you. I'm so glad you're in the Order, Hydra. Truly.

I'm so glad to know you.

Sirius's group is working on organising lessons over the holidays.

The thing is that they're telling everyone else's parents (who need to be told something) that Mrs Weasley's holding them at her home and, well, she can't exactly ask if you can come over, can she?

I suggested another way but it doesn't look like they want to take it. They think it's too risky (even though I know Sirius would love to have you come and visit and spend time with him. I'm sorry).

I know Mr Malfoy owled Draco because he's arranging lessons for you two over the holidays but it won't be the same, will it? And they're not going to teach you to Apparate. But maybe I can convince the librarian at Buckingham that you've sent me to collect books for you and read in your rooms?

Well. We'll figure something out, I suppose.

Ugh, sometimes I hate having to put Harry on every message.

Not that I hate Harry, of course, although sometimes he can really be thick, but overall I think he's all right, or at least he tries to be.

But anyway, that's not why I wanted to write to you. I probably ought to be writing to Sirius, but I think you're a better one to ask, because of course, they're talking about what he said to Madam Umbridge last night and talking about Ireland. And it's really difficult sometimes to know that they're wrong about things but not just tell them so. Like, for example, one person wondered if Sirius knew about the drowned Muggles because he was in Ireland himself. And someone asked if Professor Dolohov had anything to do with it all and someone else said that if Sirius had known, he'd have said so.

I suppose I could try to tell them things that we know because Mr Shacklebolt and Mr Longbottom were there. That just always leads to more questions, doesn't it?

Anyway, I don't know if there's anything I can do to help them see or if this is one of those times when I just shouldn't say anything at all. It's so hard, though, sometimes.

But you and Sirius love each other so you must know what he'd want me to do, right? I mean, what I ought to tell them? Only sometimes, you know, he's not very clever when it comes to saying the right thing. But I noticed he didn't mention Mr Malfoy and I wondered if he meant it that way? If he meant to keep Pan people from knowing that part?

I don't want to give away the Order's secrets but--well, I think it could help the others to understand if I could tell them more. I don't know.

But nobody thinks he's an impostor, at least.

Oh, can you tell Sirius that I'm making Harry go on a date? He might have a terrible time but at least one of us should get to go out with someone, you know?

- Hermione