Order Only: Private Message to Draco (and Harry)

[alt_hermione]

Where are you both?

I had--I keep forgetting what happened. Was there--was there a dragon? Something about flying.

Oh, I wanted to tell Mr Snape, I think there were two potions. That's what's tripped us up, I mean. Two.


For some reason I want some toast. But the Healer says I'm only to have liquids for a while longer. Aspiration. That means choking.

Draco?

I'm really tired.

Comments

[alt_draco]

Hey, are you supposed to be awake and writing?

You were hurt. Do you remember? How are you feeling other than being tired?

[alt_hermione]

Oh, no! Am I being punished? Maybe I should put the journal away before anyone notices.

[alt_hermione]

But.

Wait. No.

Healer said, said I could write. If it doesn't hurt.

It's all jumbled up. When I think hard, I know. But then I get headache.

Don't tell. Or they'll make me set this down and I want to remember.

[alt_hermione]

They're dead, aren't they. Harry. And Mr Snape.

I mean, I remember. And they are. I must have been dreaming.

[alt_draco]

No one's going to punish you, you're free. And a journeywoman.

I really don't want you to do anything that will make you feel worse or hinder your recovery, but have I ever been wanting to talk to you.

And yes, they are both dead. I'm so sorry. Was the dream a good one at least?

[alt_hermione]

I know, I remember now. It was just at first.

You must think I'm rather pathetic, forgetting something like that. I do, too. The moment I realised I started crying. Can you see the blot on the parchment?

The dream. I dreamed about the dragon, and flying out of Gringott's. Only this time it was me and Harry, not you and me. And there was something else. We were running away from your Aunt, maybe. Dunno. Fading.

There was something, though. Something important. Do you ever feel like a memory is just out of grasp?

[alt_draco]

No, I don't think you're pathetic. I catch myself forgetting sometimes, too. And then I realise that I'm wrong and it's like something rips away and they're dead all over again.

Yeah, sometimes. I hate that. I don't like it when my mind won't behave in a predictable way, ha. You probably feel the same way.

Ugh, I really hate that I have to be here at the Elysian while you're awake. I want to be with you.

You do remember that, I hope? That I love you? Other people do, too, in their own way. But yeah, I do.

[alt_hermione]

Yes, all over again. That's just what it's like. Like it's fresh. A raw wound.

Elysian? Oh, yes, I do remember. You're pretending to be Russell Faust who's a bartender. But we were spending days off looking for houses.

Yes, I remember that. And I want to keep writing but I think I have to lie down again. You can keep writing, though, and I'll read it.

I do remember. And I


love ....

[alt_hermione]

....

toast

[alt_draco]

Oh bloody -

Never one to let me off easy.

[alt_draco]

But yes we were looking at houses and we were going together to Strathglass this Saturday, but you got injured at Fradswell.

And also at Fradswell: Dolohov was killed by Rachel, which sent Barty Crouch on a mad murdering spree. Seriously, there are loads dead, including Linus' parents, Remy and Alfie Jugson, Daphne's parents, and far more. Horrific in the most literal way possible.

But Hydra killed Barty, eventually, only now it turns out that sodding Antonin Dolohov isn't really dead.

And yet they still are.

Yeah. There's that rip again.

[alt_draco]

They also loved you - you know it.

But I'm the only one who gets to say it and write it so I'll do it whenever I get the chance.


It doesn't matter to me if you don't or never-

I mean, if it's because you don't know if you can love me, if it's because you might prefer someone else more, then you know I'll stand aside.

But if it's because you're just you, and that's just how you are and might always be...well, I understand. And I accept it completely.

[alt_draco]

Oh, for fu-

Tamsin just got shirty with Russell for 'gawping at [his] book like a toad.' I'd best get back to work.

I love you and toast's a distant third or fourth on that list. But I hope you get to eat some soon.

[alt_hermione]

Oh, and I feel...fuzzy.

My finger itches, too. The missing one.

And my legs feel all heavy, but the Healer said if I wiggle my feet and toes, they'll get better.

And I'm serious about wanting toast. Not Sirius, though. I mean, I'm serious, not Sirius. Ha.

[alt_draco]

I'll get you all the toast you want just as soon as they say you can have it.