Order Only: Private Message to Draco

[alt_hermione]

Mr Lupin suggested that maybe reading the journals, and seeing everyone expressing their love and concern, would help how I feel. And of course Harry was worried about us, and I saw what you said. And Justin was kind, only I just don't know what to say in return, so I was just going to let it stand. (I noticed you hadn't replied, either, probably for the same reasons.)

Only there was this message from Jeremy Stretton and...oh, it wasn't condolences or checking to ask if I was all right or anything. Which was fine. I'm not--I mean, I don't want to talk about how I feel. I don't think you do, either do you?

But he offered me Mr Nott's wand.

Seriously.

Mr Nott's wand.

I told him to burn it.


Have you decided what you're going to do? Will you try to go back, and tell them it was all my doing? I wouldn't blame you if you did, you know. That's what I told Hydra to tell them.

I just--can't think beyond the next few minutes at a time. Brewing for Mr Lupin helped. I bet you felt better raiding the Ministry than anything else, too.

You don't have to reply. If you blame me for getting us caught, or for you having to ruin your life, I understand.

Comments

[alt_draco]

What?

Hermione, no.

It's all my fault, you must know that. I let myself be fooled by Teddy. And, even worse, fooled by myself. If there's anyone to blame, it's me.

[alt_hermione]

I saw that PM you wrote. I should have seen it right away. I wasn't paying attention.

If I'd written you back immediately we could have--

Well. It would have all been different.

Look. I don't want to--I don't want to talk about that. About what happened. It happened. There's no going back and changing it, even if we had a time-turner.

I just.... I can't talk to anyone else, either. Because they'll want to know. And I can't.

So. Let's talk about something else. Anything else. Okay?

[alt_draco]

It was too late by then, anyway.

And no, we've not got a time turner. Those things are dodgy, anyway.

What sort of music do you like? I've just been wandering the house around, see. I never really took a good look at some of the muggle stuff Black has. Records, books, clothes. But my robes were sort of ruined, so I put on a...thing. I don't know, it's sort of soft but flimsy, and it zips up the front and has a hood (but it's not robes, it only goes to my waist), and there are strings to make the hood tighter. What's this thing called, do you know?

Anyway, these muggle records, I was thinking of listening to one. Since. Well, since I can. I just don't know what's any good.

[alt_hermione]

We could have run sooner, though.

Er, a hooded shirt? I don't know.

And I don't know anything about music. Sometimes I could hear whatever was playing in the common room.

Pansy took loads of Sirius's records, didn't she? You liked her taste so you'll probably like anything Sirius has.

[alt_hermione]

I think - didn't Sirius like one of the same groups your father likes? The Warlocks? Oh, but that's not Muggle music.

I'm not sure. Oh, once he took Justin Finch-Fletchley on a visit to someone's grave. In France. He was in a band, which band was it.... The Doors! That's what it was.

I don't know what they sound like, though.

[alt_draco]

We wouldn't have had to run at all, though, if I'd not sent that stupid letter. Which - you didn't read. So. That's for the best.

A hooded shirt? That's the most boring name for an article of clothing I've ever heard of. Accurate, but boring.

A hooded zippy? No, that's no better.

I don't know anything about music either. Not this music, anyway. The Beatles? They spelt the name wrong. Unless they were trying to be clever. But they're the ones who stole their songs off the Warlocks. And Pink Floyd. Is that a man or a woman? Sounds like someone Gilderoy Lockhart would listen to. Blue Oyster Cult. Deep Purple. Why've so many got colours in them, I wonder?

[alt_hermione]

The Beatles were really famous. I've heard of them.

Sirius ran away from home in the middle of the 70's, didn't he? My parents told me a little about the 70's when I was little. They said everything was more colourful.

[alt_draco]

Hey, you were born in the 70s. But I was the 80s. The start of the 80s, anyway.

I'm sure everything was more colourful back then. Yeah.

Are you going to reply to him? Terry, I mean.

[alt_hermione]

Well, that's just because I'm older than you are. And there wasn't much of the 70's left when I was born.

Terry? No, not just now, anyway. He said we didn't have to reply and--well, there's really nothing to say. I'm just not--I'm not ready to talk about it. And besides...it's not--his experience and yours and mine, they're not anything like one another's. Nothing. In loads of ways, not being at Hogwarts will be much more freeing for me than being there, for example. But I'm sure you wouldn't say that for you, and why would you? And neither of us had to put up with Carrow's abuse the way that Terry did. So I--no. I've got nothing to say about what he had to say. He was trying to be supportive, and I know that.

Did you find something to listen to? Where are you, in Sirius's old room? I've wondered what else he had up there. But I didn't want to snoop. I think Pansy and Ron and the others did, some, when they visited.

[alt_draco]

There's no doubt of that.

Yeah. I know. Everyone means well, I guess, but it's like they want to hear that we're alright. So they can be alright. It's only natural, really, but at present - sort of bothersome.

I found The Doors. The bloke on the album cover hasn't got a shirt on. Could be why Black likes them? And yeah, I guess this is his room. I wasn't going to check in Regulus' room for clothes.

I'm not sure I like this hooded shirt. I need to get my robes clean tomorrow.

Alright, I put on the album by the shirtless bloke. Can you hear it playing where you are?

[alt_hermione]

Kreacher will have them clean, if you ask him. I couldn't, I don't think.

And...yes, I think I can. Is there an organ? I can barely hear that. I can feel the lower part, though. The beat--no, the bass. That's bass, isn't it?

You should see if Sirius has any tea shirts, in his dresser drawers. I can't imagine a zip is all that comfortable against your chest.

[alt_draco]

Oh, I wasn't going to ask you. I was just writing to remind myself, really, because I'm not sure about the hooded shirt. Maybe I'll try a tea shirt.

Yeah. Kreacher's not speaking to me much anymore.

I think it's an organ. And the lower part is the bass, yeah, but the rhythm and bass instruments keep the beat. Here, I'll turn it up.

This one's not bad. "Hey hey woman!" Is that what he's saying?

[alt_hermione]

Is it over? I can't hear it anymore.

[alt_draco]

I just got scolded for making noise and told to turn it down. Wonder how he felt back when Auntie Walburga scolded him? Only her idea of scolding probably involved more than words.

So you'll have to come up if you want to hear more. You know, tomorrow or something.

[alt_hermione]

Oh. Well, at least he only told you to turn it down and not off. I imagine his mother would have wanted him to bin his whole collection.

Oh, well, goodness, did you see what time it is? It's really late. We're lucky you didn't wake up Albia.

It's all right. I'm feeling very tired all of a sudden. I think I'll get some sleep.

I hope you can sleep, too.

[alt_draco]

Oh, I didn't even notice the time, actually. I've just been sleeping and eating when I feel like it, I guess. And there's no lessons or really anything to be on time for. It's


I'm tired too, actually. I think I should sleep. Goodnight.