Order Only: Private Message to Draco and Mr Lupin

Mr Lupin, I saw what you wrote to Mrs Longbottom.

This is one of those times where we're supposed to be happy for people but it's not really all that simple, is it?

I mean, if it makes Terry happy then that's a good thing, I guess. And if it makes the Longbottoms happy then there's no harm in it, surely.

So why do I feel...not happy? I don't know what else to call it. I'm not cross; I'm not upset by it (though...is Sirius a little upset? He seemed a bit, I dunno, false when we were talking about it over breakfast--like he's trying to convince himself that he's happy for them?); anyway, I'm not upset; I'm not jealous or anything like that. (But I wonder if any of the other Moddey children are? I wouldn't be surprised, and I wouldn't blame them if they were.)

I suppose I'm a little puzzled, and a bit...I don't know. I think it's clear that Terry's trying to find a sense of belonging. I mean, that's why he left Moddey for Sherwood, and that's why he's joined the Zulu companies. That's probably why he's doing this, too. And I'm glad that the Longbottoms are so willing to call him one of their own, but I have a feeling that this isn't going to fulfill him any better than anything else.

And I guess that makes me feel really sorry for him. And hate that Carrow did that to him, but that doesn't help, Carrow's dead and the damage was done long before he died, anyway. I guess I just wish Terry didn't need so badly. It makes me wonder if he'll ever really, really be happy, because he keeps looking for his happiness outside of himself.