alt_hermione | Order Only: Private Message to Harry, Sally-Anne, Ron and Daphne

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Order Only: Private Message to Harry, Sally-Anne, Ron and Daphne

How is everything at Hogwarts today?

You should probably know that whatever Justin and Hydra told Sirius (or didn't? I can't tell, I just know he wrote to them), sent him on a tear last night. So I think it's pretty much what we thought, Daphne. Draco and I could sort of hear him and Mr Lupin; I'm sure Mr Snape and Tonks probably heard bits of it, too, though we were in the library researching, so we were closer.

Anyway. I can't imagine they're both back to normal but maybe at least neither of them is melting a cauldron or anything.

Daphne, could you get anything out of Crouch, as to what exactly went wrong? (I'm not including Draco on this so you can talk about it and not have to worry about him just going on and on about what a slick git he is, and I won't tell him anything if you don't want me to.)

I was thinking about Hydra, though, and how she doesn't like to talk about things, because--well, I'm the same way. And I know for me, I just need to be left alone, and I know most people in the Order prefer to push until someone gets over the worst. But it doesn't always work that way. So I hope people are running interference for her, if that's what she needs.

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He only referred to it as a 'training accident,' and you know, I think he might honestly see it as one. He came back last night and took her to the salle again, and he looked - well, serious.

He's never said much about his training regimen with Hydra. I think he considers it business between the two of them alone, and includes Auror Lestrange and the Headmaster only when necessary.

As for being left alone - I can imagine that some people process their emotions quite effectively that way, especially if they had no choice but to learn to do so. But if they just go off alone to stuff things down and forget about them, that can't be good or healthy in the long run.

It can be, though. Sometimes forgetting and moving on is all there is to do. That's part of working through what happens.

How does something force themselves to forget about something? I'd like to know that trick!

I'm not saying a person needs to wallow in their trauma and allow it to define them, but I do think it's important - vital, in fact - for a person to acknowledge, at least to him or herself, things like "I didn't like that," or "that really hurt me." Or even "I'm really really angry that happened to me." Because if a person doesn't, then it's like saying their own feelings and reactions don't matter. And they do.

It helps when there's so much to do that one doesn't have time for anything else.

Anyway. I imagine it's pretty tense, isn't it, because Hydra doesn't get demonstrative about things, but clearly Justin couldn't keep himself under control yesterday. So I hope they're able to get back on the same page soon. Especially considering how that could affect them forever, you know? I mean, loads of couples never get over something like this.

Yes, I think that's comparable to 'stuffing it down.'

Justin is very demonstrative compared to Hydra (but everyone is, compared to her). She must be more open with him than the rest of us, but I don't think she'll ever be demonstrative and he knows that about her by now, surely.

When she was what - eleven? - she opened up to someone who possessed her and made her try to murder a load of people - and one of them did die. That would certainly put you off spilling your guts, I think.

True. I was thinking more about the way she was raised, with Bellatrix for a mother. Sirius sometimes talks about things his mother did (and we used to hear her screeching all the time, so there's that) and I'd bet she wasn't half as horrid as Bellatrix. With someone like that, you'd learn to tamp down your emotions. Which is why she poured her heart into that awful diary, in the first place.

So, you think they're facing it together, then? I mean, they always do manage to find one another, in the end. And if you and Sally-Anne are right and they're bonded, well, they'd rather have to work through it, wouldn't they.

I can't even imagine getting married, or getting pregnant, right now. I mean, at our age. Can you?

I think they're probably in for a rough patch but I certainly hope they get through it.

I can't even imagine how they ended up married, both so young! Hydra's nearly two years younger than you and me and Justin, remember. I can only think that they needed something that felt secure and safe amidst all the chaos, and getting married seemed like a good answer. A port in the storm. Maybe they believe in that whole 'soul mate' thing, too. Most people do, even though if you ask me that's completely silly. If you look at any broken-up couple I bet a lot of them would say that they were sure they were soul-mates, at one point or another.

I used to think I would never want to marry, and I'm still not sure I would. Who even knows what things will be like in ten or twenty years? A lot depends on that, I think. Same with having children.

I don't know, I mean, I think he's always been attracted to her, right from the first. I don't think he's even ever looked at another girl, certainly not the way he looks at her. And I can imagine she'd be comforted by the thought of someone adoring her like that--for her, and not because she's a prodigy or a Legilimens or a prize for Harry or anything like that. Though, that doesn't mean she feels as starry-eyed about him as he does about her, does it. Of course, if they got married, I think she must at least have thought she loved him enough to risk her parents finding out.

But that's the difference, isn't it, between relationships that work and the ones that don't. I mean, I think most people in failed relationships don't care for each other equally, anyway. Or if they do, they don't show it the same way.

Even Sirius and Mr Lupin, they obviously love each other but they don't go soppy over one another much, and sometimes it's Mr Lupin going soppy and sometimes it's Sirius, but hardly ever both of them together. And they love each other about as completely as I think it's possible to do.

And yes, I know what you mean about the way things are, now, but I didn't even mean it that way. I just meant--I'm not ready. Not nearly. Even if there were a perfect bloke for me, which I don't think there is because boys are all really rather thick, aren't they. Or they're too whingy or they want a girl to be something she's not, or they're too old or too young or they don't like girls at all. Not that he'd need to be perfect, I don't mean that, just--well, I suppose I have high standards. And more important things to do than worry about it!

So, no, I'm not even thinking about the current conditions, political or otherwise. I just mean, for myself. I used to think it's just what everyone does, but of course, there are loads of people who never find the right person.

Mr Black and Mr Lupin may love each other 'completely' but near as I can tell, it took them ages to get there. Maybe Justin and Hydra will need ages, too.

With all respect, for not being ready you seem to be thinking about it quite a lot? I'm sure you're not ready for marriage or kids, but relationships do seem to be on your mind. Weren't you dating someone at Sherwood? What happened to him?

You don't think it's natural to think about relationships when they're forming and taking shape all around us? That's rather narrow of you. I thought you had better imagination--I mean, you're an actress, after all.

I acknowledge others' relationships, certainly, and I do notice a lot about people, I think. But I don't analyze those things too deeply if I can help it. Unless, I suppose, I believe it will help me to better understand the people involved.

Because really, you can't do another person's thinking for them. You can't really know what's in their head, even if you've convinced yourself you've got it right. (Well, unless you're Hydra.)

And my imagination is quite poor, otherwise I'd be writing plays and songs and not just performing those that were written by others.

Hm, well, perhaps that's the difference between you and me, then. I do enjoy working out puzzles and things, and people are certainly interesting puzzles.

Oh, yes, sometimes a person has that effect on me. Draco certainly did.

I'm worried about both Hydra and Justin.

I mean -- Justin's really the only person Hydra talks to. So if they're cross with each other I don't know what she'll do.

I was thinking today that a lot of us have a mentor in the Order, someone who takes a special interest in us and asks us how we're doing. Or family. Or both. Although, Daphne, now that I think about it I'm not sure you have anyone like that yet? Hydra doesn't have anyone like that. And, she says it's fine and I'm sure if Mrs Longbottom said, 'Hydra, would you like a mentor in the Order' she'd say no. But it's not as if anyone said to her, 'how would you like for Auror Crouch to train you,' he just turned up and started doing it.

I don't know. I think it would be a good idea if Mr Snape started taking an interest in her. Or Tonks, but she's surely very busy right now with the new baby. Do you think he would? I'd rather not send him a PM that Hydra would see and then have him pop up and start writing to her, I mean, I've already been more of a mother hen today than I think she exactly appreciates.

Funny you should mention because Tonks was just asking me today what I thought she should do to--to reach out to Hydra. And I told her that it's hard to listen to someone who doesn't talk much, and that I thought hardly anyone apart from us lot ever talks to her at all, unless there's something horrible going on.

The thing is, Hydra knows just what to do when her mother is horrid, she never seems to even need anyone's advice. I'm sure Mr Snape would listen to her just like he and Draco talked about things (and still do) but there's absolutely nothing he can tell her about her experience that she doesn't already know. And she's a Legilimens, she can almost always anticipate what other people are going to do. She's uncanny at catching other people flat-footed.

I wish she and Sirius would talk more. Draco used to despise him and now they get on quite well; I think Hydra's got much the same reactions to Sirius as Draco did, because she doesn't understand his sense of humour. But I think he's been through loads of the same sorts of abuse by his mother and maybe his perspective could help her be less--less guarded about herself. Less prickly.

She might not need advice and she probably doesn't want to talk about her feelings with anybody. But she might still like it if someone in the Order showed an interest in her.

As a person, I mean, not just as the best Order legilimens and our only Order member on the Council.

Well, that's just what I told Tonks, that hardly anyone just talks to her. And all I'm saying is that she doesn't like to give the impression she wants anyone to talk to, so while it doesn't excuse them for not trying, it's not surprising.

Yeah that's the thing, when you have a parent you can't trust at all, it's a lot safer not to ever put yourself in a position where you NEED someone to listen.

I asked for Rachel's advice once, but I'm not sure that I would call her my mentor. And I expect she'd be completely surprised if I were to refer to her as one.

I'm not under nearly the same kind of pressure as Hydra, though. And I don't have any difficulties talking to people, if I feel troubled.

Well, are there any of the adults you especially like or admire?

Or, coming at it from the other direction, which of them irritate you the least often?

I'm not sure, I don't know any of them particularly well.

I mean, I know Professor Sinistra from Astronomy but - I don't want to be a painful reminder of what she's lost. And Mrs Weasley is very nice and doting but I think I made a bad impression on her, when we first met. And...let's see.

I like Mr Black's motorbike. Oh, and Mr Lupin's meeting notes always make me smile, even when they're filled with horrible grim news.

Sorry, I'm not doing very well at this.

So, they are cross with each other, then? I was worried about that. It's hard to tell from here if they're cross or hurt or upset or just what, exactly. I'd have thought they'd--well, I don't know.

Yeah. They're cross with each other.

Daphne told me she thinks it was a miscarriage, and that you two think they're married. You don't have to confirm it if it makes you uncomfortable, but I wanted you to know that I almost guessed something like that, anyway. Well. I wasn't sure if it was an actual miscarriage or some curse that triggered one, or a curse that led them to realise she was pregnant and they made her terminate the pregnancy. But something like that, anyway.

And I used to look after Harry and Draco, remember, so I know what it's like when two people are behaving like pillocks and you can't talk to anyone about it. So if you need someone you can talk to about what's happening, well, it won't bother me at all.

Thank you. I discussed this with Madam Pomfrey. (That was part of what got me thinking about how Hydra doesn't have a mentor in the Order.)

Oh, good! Did she have any advice about how to counsel them?

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Order Only: Private Message to Harry, Sally-Anne, Ron and Daphne

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Private Message to Daphne

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