Order Only: Private Message to Terry and Harry Marvolo

[alt_hermione]

Thank you for the carving.

Isn't it odd to think that we have more privacy on the Order Lock or the ISS one than most of the school has with Madam Umbridge calling them all on the carpet for posting private messages?

It's strange that people grew so used to using them so quickly. I think that must mean that people have more secrets than we might guess, or at least things they want to keep to themselves.

Do you think Sirius will get the other sets of buttons soon? The ones for the muggles in the camps, I mean. I think we should maybe start coming up with things for him to say on them, though I don't know if that's the best way to use them, maybe those shouldn't be like the Galleons and instead they should have useful information like Mr Snape was trying to give them in his posts. Only obviously he's got far too much to say on a button, even if it is in code. Maybe especially.

Are you still thinking about leaving? I'm sorry I haven't been around to talk much, but Harry and Draco especially have had things to work on that are really interesting. I think Draco might be coming round to think muggleborns aren't so bad, actually. He gave me a nift Transfigurations textbook and another on Arithmancy. For Christmas, you know. He wouldn't have done if he'd thought I shouldn't be learning about magic. He certainly wouldn't have given me his project to work on. I don't think he's quite ready to learn about the lock, or that you and I have wands. Maybe soon, though.

Only I feel badly about not telling Harry because the longer we leave him out, the harder it'll be to tell him about it. Only I know he'll want to include Draco straightaway, and he won't probably listen if I explain why it's not a good idea. You know they're practically brothers, so it's not hard to understand why he only wants to think the best of him.

Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to go on so long. We really haven't talked in forever, not like we used to when you were here. I just hope you don't go without telling anyone first. I don't think they'd tell you not to go, if you really wanted to leave. But it wouldn't be right to leave without giving them the chance to make things better.

Anyway, really I just wanted to thank you for the present and ask how you are, and tell you I do miss you, even if I don't say so very often.

Love from,

Hermione

Comments

[alt_terry]

I'm glad the box arrived safely. I think poor little Pig had quite a job to do, delivering my Valentine gifts--not that I had so many, because I only sent them to you and Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall, but because he's so small.

It is odd. I get a little ashamed of myself that there's a small, dishonourable part of me deep down inside that sort of smirks and thinks Good. Now you know what it's like to be treated as a mudblood, someone with no privacy. But whenever I'm aware of that thought floating through my mind, I try to root it out and get rid of it again. I don't want to gain a sense of justice for people like you and me by wishing everyone else miserable. Especially our friends.

I am sure it is a shock for them, to have Madam Umbridge so determined to expose everything for her purposes, or for ridicule. She sounds like a perfectly awful person. Surely someone who is angering so many cannot last long? After all, she didn't last at the Minister of Magic. Now we see why.

I don't know how the button project is going, because I'm not directly involved in it, although I think they expect the buttons to be delivered soon, at least to people in the camps. It may take longer to hand them off to all the Moddey Dhoo parents. It is a brilliant idea, and you should be very proud of your part in making it happen, Hermione. The one painful thing about Moddey Dhoo is that it forced the parents to give up their tie to their children, but this means that the ties can be rebuilt, at least a little. I think a lot about my parents these days. What would it have been like, if I had been allowed to go to Moddey Dhoo as a baby? They could have had Mr Weasley's reports every year so they would have known at least a little bit about how I was doing. Until they died of typhoid, that is. I don't suppose Mr Weasley could have prevented that.

Yes, I am still thinking of leaving. Maybe it's the news about my family, but I have felt so restless, as if I don't fit in anywhere. Which I think might hurt Mr and Mrs Longbottom a little. They have tried so hard to make me feel as if I do belong here. Well, I suppose it isn't that I don't feel I fit in, not exactly. It's that I feel I must do something, for other people like me. That staying here in safety at Moddey Dhoo isn't good enough.

But what to do?

I've talked a little to John Turner when he comes back for planning meetings. I think it surprised him and perhaps amused him a little when I sought him out the first time. But he certainly understands being a boy with a burning thirst to do something. We've talked about the possibility of me joining the group at Sherwood. Maybe not full time, but perhaps part of the time.

But there are practical considerations. I can't yet apparate. I would be so much safer, if I'm going to live in the rough in an encampment that might have to evacuate at any moment, if I could do that. Of course, unlike other boys my age, I do have another way of avoiding MLE: I can transform and slip away as the Professor. Which is something, but I'm not sure it's good enough.

I haven't talked with Mr or Mrs Longbottom too much about it yet. Well, I think John Turner might have hinted to them that I'm thinking of moving to Sherwood, but perhaps they figure, the least said the better, that if they don't say anything, I won't either.

I dunno. If I do move, it would perhaps be best to do it when the weather is warmer. And after I've learned a lot more about using my wand to defend myself. If--you know--worst comes to worst.

I can't advise you on Marvolo. From some things the twins have said, I guess he sounds as though he could be all right. But blimey, telling the son of the Lord Protector some of our secrets would be almost suicidally dangerous. And yet he IS already keeping secrets for you, isn't he? He already knows enough about what you can do that's enough to get you killed, if he reported it. But he hasn't. I suppose that's a hopeful sign.

But I can't be objective about him. I just hate like poison that he has power over you, because--

Well. He may be an all right bloke, even. I hope for your sake he is. It would certainly make your life a lot easier if you could trust him enough to tell him more. Maybe it'll come to that in the end. If it does, I trust your judgement, Hermione. It's always led you right in the past.

I miss you. I wish

I miss you.