alt_hermione | Order Only: Hydra and Auror Lestrange

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Order Only: Hydra and Auror Lestrange

Hydra just came and asked me to follow her wearing Harry's cloak. She said Elise Urquhart came into the common room just now and told her that her mother's here to speak to her and she needed to come with her, and Hydra said she asked if she could put her books in her dormitory and Elsie said yes but to be quick about it, but instead she came and found me and asked me to go get Harry's cloak right away and to catch up as quickly as ever I could.

So that's what I'm doing. I'm sure it's to do with what happened on the 1^st, with Justin and all.

I'll keep everyone posted.

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Hydra's got years left of school. Maybe she was hoping that in the meantime, her mother would drop dead from a sudden attack of annoying Voldemort at the wrong moment. (Unlikely, but it's a not-uncommon cause of death for Councilwizards.)

But. Yes.

You could have had a normal life with Pansy, or as close to it as anyone gets in the Order. You could have a normal life with Daphne -- we'd have to tell her, but you know we could (I know, I know, you don't feel that way about each other or you'd be snogging each other by now.)

Do you want a normal life? ~~I mean --~~

We snog sometimes. I mean, not usually on a whim ~~except~~. But Daphs understands roles and acting, and she knows that there's a role I've got to play - it's the role of who I would have been, had I grown up to be the Draco Malfoy my parents planned on. That Draco Malfoy would be dating someone like Daphne Greengrass. He could date Pansy if she grew up to be the Pansy she was meant to be, before Regulus messed her up, but Pansy's too different now, and she's not a very good actress, most of the time.

The real Draco Malfoy - the one that you know (but who has to pretend not to exist too much, lest it threaten the masquerade of the other Draco Malfoy) - he.. I mean I, I can't ever have the 'normal life' I really want... can't now, anyway. Maybe not ever. So why even dream about it? It will just muck things up.

I wouldn't tell Daphne about all of this - the Order, the full extent my plans, and so forth - unless I did for some reason decide I wanted a life with her someday.

But I don't see that happening.

Do you think you could have the normal life you wanted if things changed? If they changed a lot, if we -- I mean, if the Order and their baby army managed to take down Voldemort and change everything.

I mean, it could happen. Sometimes when I can't sleep I tell myself I believe it's going to happen, that it'll happen when we're still young enough that we'll really get to live in that other society, and I imagine my life in it. Do you not do that? I don't know if Pansy does, or not.

You're right that she's not a very good actress.

A normal life? I don't know.

The Protectorate changed our way of life very quickly, so logically speaking, it isn't impossible to think that it could change back quickly, too. The paradigm shift hasn't really happened yet - not while so many are still living who remember the way things were before. So yes, sometime I think about that, especially when things seem very hopeless.

I try not to imagine my life, specifically, in that context, because it would distract me.

I suppose it is distracting.

But, it makes me feel hopeful, too. It's not just my own life, I imagine Justin and Hydra being married. Mrs Longbottom in charge of MLE instead of Bellatrix. Hermione teaching at Hogwarts. Things like that.

I mean it's a little silly, I don't know if Hermione would be any good at teaching. Or if she wants to be a teacher. Anything like that.

She'd be a good teacher, but I think she'd be doing even more than that.

I see that you don't quite know how to imagine me in your Utopian future. Don't worry, though - neither do I.

No, I do imagine you, it's just that ~~I was afraid you'd make fun~~ it seemed a little, I don't know.

I imagine you being, I don't quite know what to call it, the person who shows the other purebloods that it's going to be better for them, too. Someone in the middle, who was supposed to be at the top of the old regime so people will believe you when you say, 'this will be worth it.' When I imagine us all years in the future sometimes I imagine you as Minister -- only, you know, one who's actually running things and isn't just Voldemort's scapegoat when things go wrong.

I tried picturing Hermione as Minister just now but honestly she's SUCH A GRYFFINDOR. Politics are one thing I'm not sure she'll ever be all that good at. She'd be a brilliant Headmistress at Hogwarts, though.

I can't say that particular scenario ever occurred to me, but I suppose it might work. Convincing other purebloods, I mean - I'm not sure about being Minister. Someone more likeable should be Minister, and I'll just feed him or her all the best ideas.

Too right she's a gryffindor. She just now rubbished me for being worried about her - as if it's completely ordinary to go sneak around Bellatrix under an invisibility cloak. If she'd been caught, she'd not just have been in trouble for spying, but also for stealing her Master's property. Which meant she would have been sent back to the camps, at best, or just killed right on the spot by Bellatrix.

Probably killed on the spot, unless the Headmistress -- well. Nothing good would have come of it.

Who would you have sent instead? Really, anyone caught spying on Bellatrix would have been in deep trouble. I'd have gone too, though, if Hydra had asked me. Not because I'm a Gryffindor, just because I wouldn't have thought about how dangerous it was until it was too late to back out.

I would have sent myself, I suppose. Or Harry. He can't occlude very well but Bellatrix would probably think he has the right to spy on whomever he pleases.

Ugh, I wish sending Harry would have made things better but... who even knows.

What would she have done to you if she'd caught you? ~~Speaking of Slytherins acting like Gryffindors.~~

Ron acts just like this, you know, when there's something he wants to protect me

wait

~~you're~~

you have feelings for Hermione, don't you. ~~No wonder~~ ~~So that's why~~

Does she know?

Well, that's the first time anyone's ever compared me to Weasley, I'm sure.

I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to Hermione. None of us would, would we?

But that doesn't mean I have feelings for her. I don't have them for anyone. There's nothing for her to know.

Of course no one wants anything bad to happen to Hermione. But

well, I'm not going to try to talk you into telling her, I mean even if she liked you back I'd say this week proved conclusively that secret relationships that happen anywhere within the walls of Hogwarts are maybe not the best idea ever.

There's nothing to tell.

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